So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize