Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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