i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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