We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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