VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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