Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
where are you?
Hypothermia
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
