Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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