why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
