I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
