I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
