i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
