My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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