dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
