PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
