I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
