she looked like the before picture.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
