I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
