i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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