So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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