My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
