update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
