plz talk dirty to me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
what day is it and did you see me today?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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