Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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