your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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