help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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