its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
