If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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