hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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