Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
