So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I believe in your delicious
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
