Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
