We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize