i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
we should paint friendship bongs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
