Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Still dying that you shit outside
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
