they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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