is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
