i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
