So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She said her name was "party"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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