i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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