I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
