i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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