dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
