Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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