Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
