It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
