My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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