the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
