I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
