Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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