I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize