he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
