walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
