she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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