are you so shy because you have an std?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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