Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
