Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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