Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize