And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
is it fun? or sober?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
