my shit smells like andre
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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