He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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