Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
