Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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