My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
