Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
