Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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