just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
