I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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