you guys were way drunker than both of me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I could fuck to npr.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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