I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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