i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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