sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
