Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize