Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
