So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
