One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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