great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My pussy is not your playground.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
