let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
