you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
