bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
