Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
