i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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