whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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